Friday, November 28, 2014

rants of a pragmatist

Zoe saw an older woman standing ankles deep in the pacific ocean, toes dug into the sand, giving an offering to the ocean. Though I myself don’t choose to partake in any material ceremonies of giving back to the earth, I can wrap my head around the concept and have no problem with people doing what they will to feel connected with this planet of ours. This particular woman who Zoe watched was pouring milk and honey into the ocean. I don’t even have a problem with that. Those are two iconic and symbolic items of sustenance to “give back.” The problem I have with this situation is the fact that she was pouring a half-gallon of generic milk and a plastic bear of honey into the ocean...both of which she surely bought from the 7-11 down the road.

I have no qualms whatsoever with someone offering the ocean something that is near to their heart but I have to call this woman out on the irony of pouring milk into the ocean that was sucked by a robot or uninsured and underpaid illegal immigrant out of the udder of a cow kept alive with antibiotics living in the bovine equivalent of guantanamo. Then that milk was processed until it lost almost all of what makes milk “healthy” and then trucked from middle america, bottled, shelved, and sold for $2.49. Im sorry, but that is not something the ocean wants! The ocean cringes and wishes it could yell at this lady to get her gnarly feet out of its waters and to go pour that milk into a bowl of sugary cereal. Drink the milk, give it to someone hungry, do something pretty much anything than pour it in the ocean! The same applies to the honey. If you produce something yourself and chose to “give back” part of your crop to the earth, great! Go for it! Go ahead and do your thing, be yourself, but if you find yourself buying packaged food that took environmental resources to produce and dumping them into the ocean.. I think you need to check yourself….before you wreck yourself.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

solar catch-22 loop

November 22, 2104
Bochum, Germany
My observation of the day:
Germany seems to be stuck in a perpetual catch-22 loop...yet it seems to be working. In a country that has the rare trifecta of foresight, wealth, and organization to cover every barn roof and remote cottage with solar panels it is hard to ignore the incessant debacle of constant grey weather. Though statistics seem to show Germany sitting on a shiny solar throne above us all I really can’t wrap my head around how such a sun-starved place can sit so far ahead of the rest of the world in solar production.

Monday, November 17, 2014

A formal invitation to Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko

It is so thoroughly mind bogglingly awe-inspiring that a bunch of tiny living things on one little planet in a seemingly infinite universe were able to fling a science experiment into space, chase a duck shaped rock for ten years, and then finally catch up and land on it. I had to stop and think about this one for a while. It can make a circus show feel a bit futile to consider some the massive projects that our fellow humans are up to on this little planet. Though I’ll clearly never fully comprehend the science and meticulousness that goes into launching a little space explorer pod off to run after a rock 317 million miles away, I can indisputably sit back in awe and applaud all of the little humans that made this improbable, wild idea a reality. 

I would like to take this time to formally invite the inhabitants of Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko or whatever you may call your distant land to step up your game and get your space programs up to par to pay us a visit in return. It really would be the polite thing to do.

Flying Ducky


Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko

 














Sunday, November 16, 2014

can't quite empathize

I had the realization today that I'm quite grateful for the struggles that I can't empathize with. Does that make sense?

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

airplane smorgasbord

That moment on a long haul flight when you wake up thinking its morning and the flight attendant hands you a mini ham sandwich with semi frozen bread that the worst bodega in NY would be embarrassed to serve and a generic klondike ice cream bar. What time of day is it supposed to be? It feels like the flight attendants are that stoner roommate we’ve all had who could put together thirteen different leftovers and make a 3am stoners smorgasbord that would somehow leave you staring hungrily in awe. I self-richiously declare to myself that I wont eat the awful airplane food and will obviously instead eat the awesome food I brought with me...but by the time they come around to collect the garbage all thats left is a wrapper.